


Sooth Me To Sleep With the Sound of Your Heartbeat

by ceeloilights



Series: Can You Smile For Me? [2]
Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Too Much Worrying In One Story, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceeloilights/pseuds/ceeloilights
Summary: Barry's worried about his and Hal's relationship, wondering where it will lead and how much it has changed him.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Hal Jordan
Series: Can You Smile For Me? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417831
Kudos: 33





	Sooth Me To Sleep With the Sound of Your Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic is extremely old. I've recently found a stash of un-uploaded Halbarry fics and decided to read them over and maybe upload them. Also, I'm 90% sure I was having a breakdown and wrote this??? That's why it's so cheesy and disgustingly cliché.  
> Hope you enjoy anyway!

I lay my head down, eyes looking up at the ceiling, counting the pieces of popcorn up there.

I wish he were here.

It didn't feel like time was moving any faster than usual if he wasn't here.

I pull my blanket up to my chin, body shivering under the warm blanket.

It was colder without him too.

Now I understand what people mean when they say, "The bed is warmer with two people sleeping in it".

I miss him, and I hope he's missing me.

I recently realized that everything was so much more different when he was gone.

Things would look different, like the empty spaces beside me that he would usually occupy.

Things would sound different, like the sound of my voice when I sing one of our songs, alone.

Things would smell different, like the fading scent of pine and dark coffee that made its way in my life.

Things would taste different, without the sweet kisses he'd sometimes give me before a meal, the taste of sugar and salt don't have the same lingering effect on my tongue.

Things would feel different, like how my house feels so much bigger than it should be, now that only one person was living in it.

Rolling onto my side, I shove my hand underneath my pillow, as my legs come to slightly curl into my body.

The memory of those nights his body would press flush against mine. Legs tangled together, hips pressed against my own, chest and torso warming up my back, nose buried into my shoulder or my neck. Dozing off with the thought of safety in the back of my head.

Now, my back feels much too exposed, and my legs feel like they’re a bit too stiff.

I force my eyes to close. Images of him, dance in the darkness of my mind.

The soft, chocolatey brown hair that I love to run my hand through.

The hazel eyes that shine whenever I surprise him with a kiss.

The ever so sun-kissed skin that contrasts against my pale, pinkish-white tone, in the best way possible.

The addictive lips that were either plush like pillows, wet like showers, dry like deserts, or sweet like honey.

His clothes, that were a little big for me, but it just added into how comfortable they were, as well as the distinct scent of him on his clothes.

The muscular built body that held me just right. That felt like a pillow whenever I felt tired. That lent me a hand in several battles throughout my life.

I pulled the blanket farther past my head and curled up even more underneath it.

He was always there when I really needed it. He knew what to do when I felt like giving up. He knew me inside-out like he knew his ring.

It gives me comfort to know someone can know and understand me so well.

But, it also frightens me.

It scares me how much I trust him.

It scares me how much I give him.

It scares me how much love him.

It scares me that one day he'll disappear forever, and I'll never fully know.

It scares me how much I've attached myself to him, how much he's in my life, how much he makes me happy and brightens my day, even if I'm in a horrible mood.

Because, what if one day we get ripped apart? Forever alone again.

How will I live with having this burden in my chest? Thinking every single minute how great it would be to have him with me. Wishing and praying that I'll find him again, because I depended so much on him, for happiness, for affection, for validation, for company, for life.

And that, that is the scariest thing to know.

Because I know one day he'll be torn away from my grasp.

Whether it be because of someone else, or death.

He'll be gone, and life will still carry on.

But, how am I supposed to fight the fear when he isn't there to fight along-side me? How am I supposed to know which path to choose, when he's not guiding me with his light? How am I supposed to get up when I have no one to pull me back up to my feet?

What if I'm just dependable on him? Like a functioning toy that depends on its battery. If you rip out the batteries, then the toy will die, and I don't want my batteries to be ripped out of me. Not now, not ever.

But, one day. One day it will happen, and when that day comes, I know I'll fall apart. I know everything will change. I know life can't be a fairytale and have me live happily ever after. I know that, and I can't stop that.

Pushing my head beneath the blanket, I pull my knees up to my face, curling up like a frozen shrimp.

I'm afraid that one day he'll stop loving me. That he'll lose interest in me, and go for bigger fish. That I'm just a small cod he added into his collection of largemouth bass.

I'm afraid of so many things in this relationship.

That it won't work out.

That we'll be separated.

That I'm just a toy.

That I'll become useless without him.

That I'm giving him too much.

I'm scared and I'm tired of constantly worrying.

Burying my head deeper under the blanket, I feel wet streams of tears beginning to slide down my face. My teeth nibbling at my lips to restrain the sounds that come from my mouth.

I know I shouldn't be worried, I know I shouldn't. But I can't stop.

I pull the blanket up to my face, burying my wet sobs in the covers, and eventually, I find myself slowly dozing off while the tears rolled freely down my cheeks.

* * *

I feel someone pull me in close, body warmth enveloping me as I shift to make room for them to fit their knees behind mine.

Their arms wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer so I could take in that familiar scent of pine, space, a hint of coffee and my own body soap.

Their chest lays restfully on my back, as their cold nose tucks itself in my warm shoulder.

I shift again, causing them to back away from my body.

I open my eyes and flip around to find my eyes locked onto his.

His smile drops as soon as he sees my face, and his hand comes up to cup at my cheek, thumb rubbing on my tear-streaked decorated face.

"Barry..." he breathes out, I could tell he just got done brushing his teeth and took a quick shower.

I sniffed, eyes filling with tears once again. They spilled out of my eyes by the way I was lying down.

"Oh no, don't cry." he pulled my face up to his shoulder, while his hands pulling me to him from behind, "Shh...it's okay, I'm back."

I tilt my head so I was facing his neck, tears running down my face again.

My fingers came up to his chest, desperately trying to find something to grab on, which ended up being his shoulders.

"I'm home. I'm back. It's okay." he cooed into my ear, voice much softer than a whisper, yet those words were more impacting than a tsunami, "Barry, you promised you wouldn't cry because of me."

I sniff, taking in more of his comforting scent, "I...I know..." my voice was nasally, but he didn't seem to care. He just cared if I was alright.

"I'm here, Barry. No need to cry. I'm right here where I'll stay for the night." he softly said into my ear, hand stroking the back of my head, fingers carding through the back of my hair, "I'm back, and I'll hold you all night long."

I hiccuped, pulling my face closer to his body, "I h-had-d a b-ad d-da-y..." I choked out, feeling my body vibrate in his arms. A hand coming down my spine to rest at the small of my back before it starts rubbing small, comforting circles.

"Aww...it's gonna be okay. I'm here. I'll be here." his lips came to plant multiple kisses on my temple, as he nuzzles his nose in my hair, "It's gonna be okay, okay?"

I shakily inhale through my mouth, only being able to slight, yet desperately, nod as a reply.

"I'm here now, I'm here." he got in between the kisses he placed on my head, his voice dropping down even lower as his lips moved downwards towards my own.

He placed multiple kisses my forehead, two kisses to my temples each, a kiss for each of my eyes, making me close them each time he does, three kisses down the bridge of my nose, one on the tip of my nose, several on each on my cheeks, one on my Cupid's bow, and one on my chin.

He came back up, his eyes lining up with mine as we stared into each other's eyes.

Blue meeting brown, then they glanced down at my lips for a quick second before coming back up to my eyes.

I stare deep into his eyes. All my worries about our relationship bubbling up to the surface.

He seemed to see them as well, face leaning closer to mine until I could smell my mint toothpaste he brushed his teeth with.

"I know you're not okay right now, and that fine, because I can be here to help you." he tilted his head to the side, as I tilt mine in the opposite direction, "And I know you worry about this relationship when I'm away." our faces ever so slowly come together, until our mouths were just millimeters apart. "But, I just want you to know that, I'd never try to leave you, and I know you do perfectly without me physically being where you are. Of course, there's going to be bumps and mountains we have to deal with but, that just makes our relationship stronger." 

I felt his hand that was stroking the back of my head come to cup behind my ear, his thumb moving to brush itself on my cheek. My half-lidded eyes eyeing his lips as they moved, while my ears absorbed what he was saying like a sponge.

"So, what I'm trying to say is...do you want really this relationship with me?" his words seeming to almost crush me like a boulder.

The thought of him never being in my life terrified me. It scared me even more than all my worries combined, and I instantly knew what I wanted in my life. It was so simple, so obvious, it was right in front of me for my whole life.

I leaned close to him, lips just brushing against each other's as our eyes lock together.

"I...I really want this. I want us." my arms begin to travel up his body, fingers interlocking as I begin to pull him closer to me from behind his neck, "I...and as cheesy as it is, can't imagine living, sharing, and having moments with anyone else, other than you."

With that, the two of us couldn't stop from both leaning forward and capturing each other's lips with one another's. Eyes closing in bliss as time seemed to completely stopped. Arms wrapping tighter around the other's bodies until we were pressed together, chest to chest, torso to torso, and legs just shyly brushing against each other.

When we both parted, we panted through our noses. Neither of us wanted to say anything, for the kiss said it all for us, and we both understood.

I loosened my grip, arms now just dangling from his neck, while he pulled me in. I push a little closer to him, pale body pressed against his tan one until no space was left between us. Arms wrapped protectively around my back, as his head bows down to rest his forehead against mine.

He closed his eyes, lips pulling up into a smile. Then he opens his eyes, brown finding mine once more. His half-lidded gaze on me was loving, and I couldn't deny the fact that I was indeed falling more deeply in love with him.

Sure, one day it'll happen. One day life will try to rip us apart. So let life try. Let life try to pull us apart, we both know we'll be with each other no matter where the other went, no matter where the other is. So let life try to rip and shred and pull us apart, cause we'll fight harder for each other.

I dragged one of my hands from his neck down to his heart. The rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my palm, soothing me.

His hand sliding up to cup at my cheek, thumb tenderly wiping away the dried up tear streaks on my face as his eyes shone bright with relief and adoration.

"I love you, Barry," he whispered, leaning in to steal a kiss from me.

I shifted when he did so, we parted for the second time, then I flip over and cuddled my back into his chest, making him release a tired chuckle before wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing against my back. His nose buries into the back of the base of my neck, his steady breath tickling the small hairs on the back of my neck.

I smile to myself for the first time that night, snuggling into the warmth of him, I pull the covers farther up the both of us so our body heat could be preserved. My eyelids were getting heavier by the second, so I close them and let myself get lulled into unconsciousness.

The noticeable thump of his heart over my spine that leveled my breathing. The slight movement of his chest rising and falling on my back, as the warm breaths through his nose travel across my already warm, tender skin. Legs jumbled together in order to feel closer to each other. Body pressed against body, I couldn't remember a time I've felt more at ease without him

"I love you too, Hal."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Somehow...  
> I'm always open to criticism, kudos, and comments!


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